Flexing the Feedback Muscle

One of the reasons why Radical Candor resonated with me, is I read the book, and you’re looking at the framework, and I’m like, “Oh yeah, civilians, let’s get on it, because this is how we think about feedback and give feedback in the military.” Because you do have to care personally, and the military cares so personally and challenging directly is just part of the culture. And so, we get that radical candor.
Is it always easy? No. Is it uncomfortable sometimes? Yes. The one thing that I will say is that everyone needs to build the muscle, not only giving feedback, but also receiving it. We don’t think about that as often of like, what does that look like, of you flexing that muscle, building that muscle, receiving feedback. And so, two things that I do, one, I say, let me repeat back to you what I heard. And then two, I say, I want to follow up with you in X amount of time, and let’s check in on if I’m actioning this. Let me be proactive and say, I’m going to follow up with you, because I want to make sure that I’m actioning that feedback.

And why do you say, let me repeat back to you what I think I just heard. You just want to make sure that there’s clarity on both parties as to what the grounds are?

Yeah, because I think that sometimes in uncomfortable conversations, folks, well, maybe they’re having a tough time on what they’re trying to communicate, and they’re not sure. And then if I repeat it back to them, say, actually that’s not what I was saying. Great, let’s try again.

Yeah.

Right? So, we can make sure, because communication is two way, it’s not just sending the message, you got to receive the message too. And so, I need them to understand that I received exactly what they were saying.