Communication Decision Making Team Success Values & Purpose

Say The Thing

Deb Liu

04.12.22

Many teams are embroiled in conflict, and communication is at the heart of all teams. Deb's "Say the Thing" rule is a hardline and hard-earned approach to ironing out team conflict before it becomes cancerous.

Summary:

Many teams are embroiled in conflict, and communication is at the heart of all teams. Deb’s “Say the Thing” rule is a hardline and hard-earned approach to ironing out team conflict before it becomes cancerous.

Thuy

So you're developing this new product, but even then, there will be different opinions, even heated debates over the product's direction. Can you share with us some techniques for dealing with disagreements and conflicts on a team so that everybody can be rowing in the same direction?
Deb_Liu

Deb Liu

So team dynamics is one of the most important things. And also one of the most critically overlooked things that we have in kind of companies, actually, there's so many teams that are in conflict with each other and that conflict can bleed into your product. What's incredible is if you can actually get a team and have psychological safety and pull teams together and have constructive disagreements, that is really what helps people row in the same direction. The one technique I use and I force this on all of my teams is we have a rule called say the thing. So I don't know how many times you've been in a meeting and everybody is saying the polite thing. And then when they leave, they actually pull aside somebody they trust and actually tell them what they actually think. That is actually a cancer on how teams motion, because now you're creating factions. You're creating disagreements outside of the room. And in the room, everyone pretends this kind of consensus driven, yes, maybe, but then-- There was an executive where we were talking about why a project was taking so long. And he said, I don't think we disagreed and committed. I think we actually basically agreed to never commit.

Thuy

That sounds productive.
Deb_Liu

Deb Liu

But that's toxic. And so the rules say the thing, it’s something I tell my team, which is leave it all in the room. If you don't say it in the room and you don't agree and you didn't say it, your opinion doesn't count. Because if you're not willing to say it in front of everybody else and have that conversation, then you can't go and sow seeds of doubt outside the room. And once you leave it in the room, everyone can have all the opinions and then you can all disagree or agree and then commit and walk out of that room on the same page,