I would say I adjust my understanding and my words. So, I guess that’s adjusting my style. I’ve done lots of personality tests for the teams. And then you have the coach come in and say, “So when you’re talking to this person, you should talk like this to them.” I’m like, “Well, why can’t you just say, Hey, you’re type A, I’m type B, this is how I see things. Now you figure out what that really means.” And so, I try to do more direct candor, the Radical Candor Framework from Kim Scott, I try to use that to say, this is what I am seeing. It does not work for me. But I like this about what you’re doing. But I just want you to know, it doesn’t work for me. So, you tell me how we want to talk about that.
But we’ve all had friends and bosses that can use the Socratic technique to be able to get you to say exactly what they want you to say. And then you’re backed in a corner, and you said it and it’s like, I guess that’s the decision. It’s like, no, no, no, I’m not going to do that. And so the empathy is, “Hey, I understand this is hard for you, because I understand this is not your profile. This is what I need – back to the accountability as a leader – feel free to debate that need. I’m happy to talk about that.” But not going in and saying, “So, I know you’re like this – in my head – I’m going to ask this way so you say yes.” That’s not how I’m going to adjust. It doesn’t feel authentic to me.
