Join The Club

You are a tech leader who's a woman of color, that's a pretty small club. And you're a mother of three, that's also another small club in tech. Can you talk about some of the challenges that you have faced as a woman or working mother in a male dominated industry that is often called out for its lack of diversity?

I think one of the biggest challenges as somebody who looks different than everybody else is still trusting your instincts. When you walk into a room and you're different than everybody else, it's hard to speak up. And in fact, it's really interesting. If you look at studies, when you're the only person, the only woman in the room, women talk, women already naturally speak less in meetings, but when you're the only woman in the room, you speak substantially less. And so I struggled with this for a long time. Can I trust my voice? Are people judging me? How do I think about this? And I really, I couldn't figure out how to get my voice heard without being told that I was too aggressive, that, you hear that, right?

Right. I've been there.

You're threading this needle where you're constantly trying to be just assertive enough to be unobjectionable. And you're kind of walking this tightrope.

Which is sad that we have to think that way, right? Men never have to think that way.

Well, that's the thing. I want to walk into a room where it feels like I don't have to wonder if I'm going to fall off into the chasm on either side. I'm just like walking this tightrope where it's like, if I don't speak enough, they're like, well, she's too quiet. She's not a leader. But if I'm too assertive, women who are too assertive and forceful are actually seen as worse leaders and less competent. And so you're threading this needle constantly saying, well, did I say enough? Was I expert enough? Was I likable enough? And I think maybe men do this too. But I think as a woman, we are judged more harshly for getting it wrong. And I've read all the studies on this, and I really struggle with that for a long time. And so now I'm writing this book and I'm working on this book because I want to free women from that, which is how that actually suppresses our voices and keeps us from actually becoming leaders. And one of the challenges that we face in this male dominated industry is, it's very easy to let that voice actually get you to a place where you can't be a leader. And so instead, how do we find opportunities? The opportunities that we do have to amplify our voices, to help one another, to actually grow women and minorities representation in tech.